Don't consider that a compliment. We're not in Turkey.
  -- Alpine (after eating his dinner and burping)
Home Episode Summaries Season 2 The Rotten Egg


"Oh, please! Save me the sob story!"
- Buck McCann (after Randall asks if Leatherneck deserves an honorable death)

At Joe headquarters, Beach Head asks Dial-Tone if he has heard from Leatherneck. Unfortunately, neither Dial-Tone nor Mainframe have heard from the Joe, and Dial-Tone adds that Wet-Suit asked about Leatherneck earlier. While Beach Head tells Dial-Tone to contact Leatherneck about the Paris Island ceremonies, Leatherneck attacks a group of cadets and knocks out all of the Cobra agents.

Randall misses Leatherneck with a shot from his gun and McDermitt punches him and declares that he missed on purpose. She turns and threatens the others to not miss while Leatherneck runs for cover. The cadets circle around to the north bank of the river to cut him off, but Leatherneck attacks the cadets by jumping from a tree and kicking Randall in the chest, who falls backwards and knocks McDermitt into a river with a powerful current.

Since she cannot swim, McDermitt cries out for help. “Aah, nertz,” Leatherneck mutters.

Leatherneck jumps into the river, swims toward her and dives underwater to bring her back to the surface. Guiding her to a tree that has collapsed into the river, Leatherneck climbs onto shore and is told by McDermitt that if their positions were reversed, she would have let him drown. “You’re welcome,” he tells her. McCann shows up and taunts Leatherneck and as the Joe rushes him, he is attacked from behind by McDermitt.

Randall asks Leatherneck if he is okay, but the Joe falls unconscious and awakens in an infirmary dressed in a hospital gown. He climbs out of bed and catches sight of Serpentor flying his air chariot among the cadets. Serpentor tells McDermitt that the cadets look tough and asks if they can fight. McDermitt explains that those who could not survive are not present.

McCann enters the infirmary and tells Leatherneck a story about a marine who is sentimental about Paris Island boot camp, a place where the marine learned to be a man and a marine. McCann wonders what the marine would think if the camp was overrun by Cobra and then destroyed by massive explosions. “Hilarious, huh?” asks McCann.


As the cadets, who are dressed as members of the Gerberville marching band, board a bus, McCann turns to the infirmary window and asks Leatherneck, “Nothing like a little music to liven things up, eh, Sarge?” Randall and McDermitt report that all of the cadets are on the buses and McCann then leaves and orders two guards outside Leatherneck’s room to not let the Joe escape. As soon as McCann leaves, the guards hear the shattering of a window. “Not already!” one of the guards pleads.


The Cobra cadets enter the room and notice that although the glass is broken, the bars have not been touched. Suddenly, Leatherneck drops from the ceiling light and knocks out the two guards. Alarms are sounded and McCann notes that the five minute escape must be some sort of new record.


McDermitt offers to finish off Leatherneck, but McCann tells her that the dogs will do the job. After Randall asks if Leatherneck deserves a better fate as a warrior, McCann tells him, “Oh, please! Save me the sob story!” After McDermitt wonders what will happen if Leatherneck evades the dogs, McCann adds that he has already planted an escape lunatic story, which should cause the public to be on guard.

Leatherneck avoids the dogs by swatting them aside with a branch, and after climbing up a tree, he jumps off and lands on a semi truck passing underneath him. Leatherneck climbs inside, calmly explains to a very surprised truck driver that he is a member of the Joe team who needs a life to Paris Island. Sarcastically telling Leatherneck that he doesn't care if the Joe is one of the Oakridge Boys, the driver picks up a wrench and tells Leatherneck to not move until they reach a phone.

Wet-Suit walks with Low-Light on an airstrip and wonders about Leatherneck, and Low-Light laughs at the situation since Wet-Suit and Leatherneck are usually at one another’s throat. Low-Light suggests that Leatherneck may have traveled to Paris Island ahead of the other Joes.

While Leatherneck travels with the truck driver, the Dreadnoks ride beside the truck. Monkeywrench asks Zandar if they can stop for lunch, but Zartan’s brother refuses and replies that they would have reached Paris Island if they didn’t stop for breakfast.

Part One - Part Two - Part Three


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