|Home Episode Summaries Season 1 The Funhouse
"Your acting couldn't get you onto a soap opera."
- The Baroness (after Zartan informs Cobra Commander of the extra charge for his acting services)
Zartan skims across the nighttime waters of a river near Lab Central,
blends with the chain-linked fence and knocks out the guard. Sneaking into
a room, where Dr. Heibbentrope tries to track a pesky microbe under a microscope,
Zartan is brusquely told by the doctor that he is busy, however, Zartan
tells the scientist that he believes it is time to take a nap. Pulling
out a canister with a Cobra symbol on the side, Zartan sprays a gas that
places Dr. Hibbentrope asleep.
Flint drops photos of a Dr. Hibbentrope, a botanist and a geologist
onto a table and asks the other Joes, Lady Jaye, Alpine, Bazooka, Gung
Ho and Breaker, why they think Cobra would kidnap these people. Bazooka
pulls out a baseball card, suggesting that their adversaries are putting
together some sort of set, and Flint wonders what will happen when the
set is complete.
Breaker receives a transmission from Cobra Commander who demands sixty
billion dollars in gold bullion for the safe return of the scientist. Lady
Jaye leans over and asks where Cobra Commander expects the Joes to find
that much money, but Alpine pulls out his wallet, slides out his G.I.Joe
Express card and the tells everyone, "Relax, guys. We'll just put it on
my credit card. I never leave home with-"
"Enough of this foolishness!" Cobra Commander yells, interrupting Alpine.
The camera inside Cobra Commander's base swings to Dr. Hibbentrope, who
is bound to a chair with rope and pleads for G.I.Joe to save him.
Cobra Commander threatens to kill him in one day and ends his transmission,
however, Breaker was able to trace the source of a broadcast to an island
near South America. Lady Jaye and Gung Ho tell Flint that the successful
trace makes the Joes feel uneasy, and Flint agrees and asks for volunteers.
All of the Joes raise their fists into the air and shout: "YO JOE!"
Inside the Cobra base, a stone temple with a cobra's head placed on
the top, Zartan removes his mask of Dr. Hibbentropeís face and tells Cobra
Commander that he charge an extra amount for his acting services. As the
Baroness caustically tells Zartan that his acting skills couldn't land
him a job on a soap opera, Cobra Commander explains that Zartan's stunning
performance is well worth his fee because Cobra's leader will finally experience
the greatest luxury in life - revenge.
G.I.Joe Skystrikers, Sky Hawks and Dragonflies fly low to the ocean
in order to avoid radar and then Ace fires several rockets at Cobra's base
just to let Cobra know that the Joes have arrived. HISS tanks and Cobra
Trubble Bubbles are destroyed and the Dragonflies blow up a bunker moments
before WHALE hovercrafts land.
An APC rolls out a WHALE and Flint, Gung Ho, Alpine, Bazooka, Airtight,
Lady Jaye, Dusty and Zap hop out and run forward attack the Cobra ground
However, as soon Alpine tells Bazooka that he's been itching for a good
fight all day, Bazooka drops his weapon and begins to scratch his back.
Flint, who is pinned down by a HISS tank's blast with the other Joes yells
for Bazooka's support. Grabbing his bazooka, the Joe rushes forward but
trips on a root and pulls the trigger. Flint ducks and the shot sails over
him, and the HISS tanks overturns and blows up.
Flint tosses his gun at two Cobra agents explaining he doesn't like
to fight two unarmed men while Gung Ho punches a few Cobra agents and removes
a Cobra agent off his back telling him, "Get off my back." Wiping his hands
against one another, Gung Ho avoids a laser blast from two Cobra agents,
but Dusty knocks them out by leaping off a Cobra HISS behind the agents
while explaining that even though he usually doesn't drop by uninvited,
he'll make an exception for them.
After Bazooka punches three Cobra agents who tackle him to the ground
and cause him to swallow his gum, the Joes stand in the middle of a field
filled with unconscious Cobra agents and hear Alpine declare, "What a buncha
wimps!" But Flint tells the Joes that their mission isn't over since they
still have to break into the base and rescue the scientists. Turning to
Zap, Flint asks the demolitions expert if he has a key, which Zap does
own in the shape of six pieces of dynamite.
After a section of the base's wall has been turned to rubble, Zap is
ordered by Flint to wait for Gung Ho and the support team while the others
enter the base. While walking down a corridor, Lady Jaye says that the
place feels deserted, but metal doors suddenly slam down and cut off their
exits and a magnetic panel on the ceiling swings down and removes the Joes
A screen appears and Cobra Commander welcomes the Joes to his funhouse,
where two of the three corridors offered to the Joes lead to "dead ends"
while the third leads to him. "Then all the doors are losers," yells Alpine.
Unnerved but undeterred to let the Joes ruin his fun, Cobra Commander also
explains that the entire island will be destroyed by a bomb.
Standing behind Cobra's leader, the Baroness tells him to not take any
chances and to kill the Joes now, however, Zartan takes the side of Cobra
Commander's time-consuming approach since the master of disguise is paid
by the hour.
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