Letís not and pretend we did, okay?
  -- Scarlett (after slapping Shipwreck in the face when he makes a pass at her)
Home Episode Summaries Season 1 The Funhouse


"Watch your tongue while you still have it!"
- Zartan (threatening the Baroness after Flint finds them inside the base)

Flint divides the Joes into teams of two. Dusty and Airtight take the door on the left, Alpine and Bazooka travel through the one on the right while Lady Jaye and Flint tackle the door in the center. As Airtight and Dusty run down their assigned corridor, Airtight tells his teammate that all of the doors are probably the wrong ones, and the Joes stop suddenly to watch balloons with a picture of Cobra Commander fall to the ground.

And before Airtight can stop Dusty, who has always felt that Cobra Commander was an airhead, he pops one of the balloons. A pink gases creeps into Dusty's lungs and Dusty soon sees Airtight as Cobra Commander with snakes coming out of his face and hands. Dusty rushes toward his teammate and Airtight is forced to knock his friend unconscious.

Alpine asks Bazooka why Flint is always teamed up with Lady Jaye while he is stuck with him. But before Bazooka can answer, a carnival worker with a cane and Cobra Commander's face mask rises up from the ground and offers the Joes a ride on the Cobra express, a roller coaster ride that offers them a trip of a lifetime.

As the Joes climb aboard the car, Gung Ho, who is flanked by Snake Eyes Scarlett an Short Fuse, urges Zap to hurry up with the explosives so they can blow open the door to the base and rescue their friends.

Bazooka whoops with delight as the roller coaster cart with Cobra designs zooms over the tracks, but the roller coaster enters a shooting gallery composed of Cobra agents shooting at the cart. Bazooka is hit and when the cart stops Alpine climbs out and yells at Cobra Commander, "All right, Commander, this isn't a game anymore! This time I'm playing for keeps!"

Airtight walks into a room where several Jack-in-the-box boxes emerge and Cobra Commander clowns pop out and try to kill Airtight with a fly swatter, a newspaper, a croquet mallet and a baseball bat. Commenting that Cobra Commander is not playing with a full deck of cards, Airtight avoids the attacks of the clowns and slides into another box, however, the next clown is dressed in Cobra Commander's clothes and is aiming a gun at Airtight. "This is not my lucky day," Airtight tells himself. He quickly rolls on the ground away from the gun-toting Jack-in-the-box but the blasts from the gun strike a wall behind Airtight and the rubble knocks him unconscious. Cobra Commander turns half-way from his monitor and tells the audience, Zartan and the Baroness, that the Joes aren't so tough.

As Alpine is running down the corridor he falls to the ground, notices the ground feels like glass and notes the duct could use some light. The lights are turned on and Alpine catches sight of several bowling pins with cobra heads on them. Wondering if he is in a bowling tournament, Alpine turns to watch a wall, which has Cobra Commander's face, and mutters: "Talk about an inflated ego." Suddenly, a metal ball rolls forward and knocks down all of the pins and scrambling Alpine to the ground. Cobra Commander shouts with delight since he scored an eleven, which is better than a strike. The Baroness wonders if the Joes outside the base will break in and disrupt the game, but Zartan explains that they will arrive too late. Zap's bomb explodes and fails to destroy the metal door.

As Lady Jaye walks down the corridor with Flint, she tells him that their trip has been quite easy, which worries Flint. They hear a metal clanking sound and Lady Jaye mentions that the noise sounds like marching tin cans. Robots who look like Cobra Commander appear and the Joes attack the machinations after Flint notes that they are ugly.

But Lady Jaye is knocked out from behind by a robot and Flint destroys the remaining robot, rushes to her side and finds that he is unable to feel pulse.

Cobra Commander laughs at Flint and tells him that he is the last Joe left. Again, the Baroness urges Cobra Commander to stop toying with the Joes and simply kill them, however, Zartan interrupts and tells her to let Cobra Commander enjoy the moment. Cobra Commander then yells for both of them to be silent.

Flint swiftly kicks one of several robots standing around him, causing it to fall and knock down the other robots like dominoes. Grabbing a robot's gun while it is in mid-air, Flint retreats and decides to play a game of his own: hide and seek. After shooting three of the six remaining robots, Flint yells at Cobra Commander that the robots are pathetic shots and asks if Cobra Commander programmed the robots himself.

Flint continues to evade the robots and taunts Cobra Commander to try and get him. However, Flint runs into an arena, sees Cobra Commander in a booth and yells at him, "Never mind! I'll come and get you!" Cannons emerge from the bottom of Cobra Commander's control booth and fire upon Flint, but he rolls on the ground, avoids the blasts and shoots the cannons, effectively destroying them.

Inside the booth, the Baroness falls to the ground and asks Zartan what he now thinks of the Joes' chances. "Watch your tongue while you still have it!" he yells at her. However, he turns to Cobra Commander and tells him that she may have a point. Cobra Commander then screams at Zartan, "It's time to depart when I say it's time!"

Part One - Part Two - Part Three


Jan 25: G.I.Joe Examined on Podcasts
Jan 25: Buzz Dixon Interview
Jan 25: Paulsen Annie Nomination & Dini on Batman Comic
Jan 12: Sgt. Slaughter Signing in Atlanta
Jan 11: G.I.Joe to Return on G4
Dec 30: Paramount Movie Reviewer Plugs JoeGuide.com
MORE

JoeGuide.com (formerly QKTheatre.com) is an unofficial G.I.Joe website. G.I.Joe and all related characters and vehicles are trademarks of Hasbro. All images, sound and movie clips of G.I.Joe within this site are used with the kind permission of Hasbro. All other images are copyrighted by their respective owners and are presented for only for the purpose of review.