Emmie, I told you never to make that surprise stew again!
  -- a farmer (to his wife while running away from a giant germ)
Home Episode Summaries Season 2 Ninja Holiday


Come on! Move your feet - not your mouth!"
- Beach Head (to the other Joes while invading a fort)

After Sci Fi pokes his head out of a river's muddy water and Wet-Suit pushes his gun deeper into a hollow tree truck, Leatherneck silently looks around the jungle while Beach Head watches a group of river pirates march towards a fort.

On a large television screen, Serpentor congratulates Das Wa Le on his successful raids against the local G.I.Joe bases, which has caused the military presence in the South Pacific to become off-balance. However, after Das We Le kneels before Serpentor, Sgt. Slaughter’s hat flies into the room and the river pirate rushes off into battle.


While the river pirates in the camp rush forward to attack Sgt. Slaughter as he climbs over the fort’s wall, Serpentor demands to know what is happening. Sci Fi emerges from the river, notes that Sgt. Slaughter started the party without his teammates and listens to Leatherneck call Sgt. Slaughter a glory hound while firing at the pirates.

“Come on! Move your feet - not your mouth!” Beach Head shouts while running to the fort. And after Low-Light shoots down a sniper perched in a tree, the Joes press their attack and begin to scale the fort's wall.

Inside the compound, seven pirates cling to Sgt. Slaughter and Sci Fi wonders if they should help their teammate. But Sgt. Slaughter flings all of his attackers off of him and Beach Head asks if Sci Fi’s question has been answered.

The river pirates regroup and attack Sgt. Slaughter, however, he defeats everybody and then turns to hear Low-Light jokingly ask, “Leave any for us?” After Sgt. Slaughter apologizes for getting carried away, Beach Head holds up an assault rifle with a Cobra emblem and replies that the battle was “a real education.” Beach Head then suggests to Sgt. Slaughter that while they call Lift-Ticket for transportation he should send his regards to Serpentor.

Inside a hut, Serpentor continues to yell at the river pirates’ leader for an update, but Sgt. Slaughter removes a sword from the wall, surprises Serpentor and slices the TV and half. Sparks fly from the TV and the two halves tumble to the ground. After dusting off his hat, Sgt. Slaughter places it back on his head and suggests that they return home.

While sitting on a hotel porch, a young boy delivers a telegram to Mr. Forrest, however, Sgt. Slaughter snags the note from the Joe's hands and learns that Wet-Suit has been invited to a martial arts competition held by Pierre LaFonte. Wet-Suit tries to downplay the invitation by explaining it is just some remedial training. But Sgt. Slaughter yells, “Don’t try to snowball me, sailor.” Sgt. Slaughter continues to berate Wet-Suit and reminds him that attending the event, which is nothing more than a bloodsport sponsored by an international criminal, is against Joe regulations. Cringing during Sgt. Slaughter speech, Wet-Suit then stutters a meek “Yes sir” when asked if Sgt. Slaughter has made his opinion on the matter clear.

The Joes check out of the hotel, and while Sgt. Slaughter pays the bill with his G.I.Joe Express Card, the same young telegram boy shouts that there is a telephone call for Mr. Forrest.

Sgt. Slaughter decides to take the phone call, however, after picking up the receiver, two ninjas attack him. The Joe tries to punch them, but they avoid his blows and knock him out with sleeping gas.

Standing beside a bus, Beach Head realizes Sgt. Slaughter is taking too much time and begins to walk back to the hotel with Leatherneck, but the telegram runner tells the Joes that Sgt. Slaughter will meet them at the airport and nudges them back onto the bus. And the diver, who is wearing a Cobra ring, drives all of the Joes away.

Two men paddle down a river with a basket on their raft, guide their craft through a shallow part of the river and then continue their trek towards a temple, where they carry the basket inside and place it near several others. The baskets are kicked over by the guards and the occupants tumble out, but Sgt. Slaughter knocks the lid off his basket, punches the nearest pirate and asks who is in charge.

Pierre LaFonte introduces himself and explains that he will be the host for the next two days, however, Sgt. Slaughter calls the man a maggot, climbs out of the basket and marches toward him. River pirates attack the Joe, but Sgt. Slaughter knocks all of his opponents to the side and turns to face LaFonte. Unfortunately, two ninjas flanking LaFonte point their guns at the Joe, who is quickly surrounded by a dozen of LaFonte’s thugs.

After LaFonte explains that the men attacked Sgt. Slaughter in order to determine who was the inferior among the those who were invited, he tells the Joe that the next task will be considerable more difficult - defeating two dozen thugs on his own. “Fine,” Sgt. Slaughter half-growls. “The more, the merrier!”


While Slipstream lands his Conquest X-30 outside Joe headquarters, Mainframe watches General Hawk yell at Beach Head, “What do you mean you don’t know where he is?” Beach Head explains that they left Sgt. Slaughter since they had a plane to catch, but General Hawk quickly and hotly replies that they shouldn’t bother to unpack since they are returning to the jungle.

Wet-Suit chimes in that he is first unsure of the relevance of his information, but he was to attend a martial arts contest hosted by a man named LaFonte. While Leatherneck watches and chuckles as Wet-Suit squirms, General Hawk asks if the contest is organized by Pierre LaFonte. Again, Wet-Suit meekly stutters, “Yes sir” and General Hawk orders Mainframe to bring up all information about their next target.

Part One - Part Two - Part Three


Jan 25: G.I.Joe Examined on Podcasts
Jan 25: Buzz Dixon Interview
Jan 25: Paulsen Annie Nomination & Dini on Batman Comic
Jan 12: Sgt. Slaughter Signing in Atlanta
Jan 11: G.I.Joe to Return on G4
Dec 30: Paramount Movie Reviewer Plugs JoeGuide.com
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