I wouldn’t say that dirty word if I were you, Dr. Mindbender. I’d have to wash your mouth out with soap.
  -- Agent Matthew Burke (interrupting Dr. Mindbender before he said "Cobra")
Home Episode Summaries Season 2 Ninja Holiday


"You know what you can do with your files?"
- Sgt. Slaughter (to LaFonte, who complimented his fighting skills)

While Mainframe explains that Major Pierre LaFonte uses the Green Monkey Cantina in Manilla as a mail-drop safe house, Sgt. Slaughter punches his way through the crowd of thugs and marches toward LaFonte, who explains that the winner of the contest will serve as an assassin for Cobra, a mission that intrigues Sgt. Slaughter.

Beach Head enters the cantina and asks for information, however, everybody leaves while stating they don’t know anything. Two ninjas attack Beach Head, and the Joe yells, “Yo Joe!” Wet-Suit, Leatherneck, Low-Light and Sci Fi rush into the cantina, but they are also knocked down by the ninjas.

However, when the Joes have the two Cobra agents backed up against a wall, they open fire and shoot down all of the wall except the part behind the ninjas, who drop their nunchuks to the ground. “About that little chat I wanted to have with you … I think there’s a free table over here,” remarks Beach Head while he and the other Joes lead the ninjas away.

Sgt. Slaughter continues his matches by fighting the great Andre, a master cook and kickboxer. At first, Sgt. Slaughter believes his opponent is not worth his time and tells the great Andre that he should pick on someone his own size. The French kickboxer lands a kick against the Joe’s chest and knocks him to the ground. While climbing to his feet, Sgt. Slaughter slowly reverses his decision about his opponent and attacks him. But the French kickboxer dodges the Joe and lands a punch to his face.

After grumbling that his mother always told him that there would be bad days, Sgt. Slaughter continues his match, but he is knocked to the ground. The French kickboxer stands with one foot on the Joe's back and raises his hands above his head in celebration.

However, Sgt. Slaughter knocks the man off of his back and declares that it is time to fight Slaughter House style. Catching his opponent’s kicking leg, Sgt. Slaughter swings Andre into a stone column then picks him up, twirls him around and tosses him on top of a trapdoor that opens and disposes of the screaming kickboxer.

As Beach Head leads the other Joes through the jungle, he explains that they are only a few klicks away from LaFonte’s temple. “I hope so,” replies Sci Fi, “because I’m ready to kick some butt.” Low-Light states their march reminds him of Conrad’s book “Heart of Darkness” and asks if Leatherneck has read the story. “Nope, but I saw a movie once: The Heart is a Lonely Hunter,” replies Leatherneck.

While Beach Head tells the Joes to keep quiet, Wet-Suit, who is in the rear guard position, slows down, looks around and then walks toward the Joes, who are no longer in sight. But LaFonte’s right hand man appears in Wet-Suit’s path and the Joe is surrounded by several of LaFonte’s hired thugs.

“You won’t take me without a fight,” Wet-Suit tells them. “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” the leader of the gang replies before somebody behind Wet-Suit knocks the Joe out with the butt of his gun. While Wet-Suit is carried away, Sgt. Slaughter faces his next opponent, Osabesa. LaFonte explains that they are the semi-finalists and informs them that a new complication will be added to the fight.

Stone columns suddenly rise from and fall back into the floor, and Sgt. Slaughter is attacked while off-balance from the columns.


However, the Joe recovers and eventually trips and flips his opponent into the trapdoor.

LaFonte congratulates Sgt. Slaughter and adds that the Joe’s martial arts prowess far exceeds the information in his files. “You know what you can do with your files?” Sgt. Slaughter growls at LaFonte with a fist in the air. LaFonte then tells Sgt. Slaughter that he has one more task. After an unconscious Wet-Suit is brought into the temple and tossed on the ground, LaFonte tells Sgt. Slaughter, “You must kill a member of G.I.Joe.”

Part One - Part Two - Part Three


Jan 25: G.I.Joe Examined on Podcasts
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Jan 12: Sgt. Slaughter Signing in Atlanta
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Dec 30: Paramount Movie Reviewer Plugs JoeGuide.com
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