Next time, I’ll clone him with a sense of humor.
  -- Dr. Mindbender (after Serpentor tosses him across the room)
Home Episode Summaries Season 2 Cobrathon

"Like what? A Snake of the Month club?"
- Beach Head (after Mainframe discovers
that Cobra has a mail-order business)

As a plane flies leaves a secluded airport located in the jungle, the Duke, Beach Head, Mainframe, Sci Fi, Lifeline and Cross Country drive up to the airport in a HAVOC, park in the brush and enter the base.

As Mainframe explains that Cobra is currently using computer hackers, Sci Fi chimes in that he knew a nice family with the last name “Hacker” and then melts the fence with a shot from his gun. The Joes enter the base, however, while Mainframe comments that the mission is as easy as programming in basic, they are detected by Cobra’s surveillance equipment, and a Viper brings the base to a code red status.

The Joes sneak into a warehouse and Mainframe comments that Cobra appears to be part of an international mail-order business. “Humph,” Beach Head snorts. “Like what? A Snake of the Month club?” Vipers enter the room with guns blazing, but Lifeline, Mainframe and Sci Fi topple a stack of boxes and bury the Vipers.

As the Joes move further into the base, Mainframe grabs an electronic box and tells Duke that Cobra has entered the pay-TV business. The Joes enter a room and Beach Head picks up a computer report, which is covered with computer code that is “real amateur stuff” in Mainframe’s opinion.

While walking down another corridor, a trap door slides away, however, only Lifeline falls into the pool of water, which is filled with piranha.

Meanwhile, an enraged Serpentor demands a report from Dr. Mindbender and the Crimson Guard Commanders, Tomax and Xamot. The twins and Dr. Mindbender explain that they have created a computer virus that can eat so much of the computer’s memory and power that it explodes when the computer runs out of memory.

Noting that all viruses are not so deadly, Dr. Mindbender explains to Serpentor in a telecommunications conference that the virus he designed could cripple the computers of INTERPOL in a matter of minutes.

Elsewhere, Sci Fi shoots at the piranha in the water in order to scare the fish away from Lifeline. Vipers attack the Joes, however, Duke, Beach Head and Mainframe shoot at the ceiling to create a rock wall.

Lowering his weapon down to pull his teammate to safety, Sci Fi is told by Lifeline that he will not touch his weapon, so Sci Fi reaches down with his hand and pulls the Joe to safety. While Lifeline brushes the water off his clothes, Sci Fi teases his friend about denying the piranhas even a small taste of his flesh and blood.

On the other side of the wall, a Viper closes the trap door, drops a wall that separates Lifeline and Sci Fi from other Joes and then bursts through enough rocks to capture the Joes. Duke tells Mainframe and Beach Head that they will rescue their teammates, however, he adds, they need to return to headquarters.

“So much for a routine reconnaissance mission,” Duke grumbles.

“By the serpent gods of the Netherworld! How do you expect me to raise five billion dollars?” yells Serpentor. Tomax and Xamot seriously suggest a telethon, a Cobrathon, according to Xamot. They add that criminals everywhere would pay generously to have INTERPOL’s computers destroyed and as Dr. Mindbender removes a cloak from over Lifeline and Sci Fi, he explains to Serpentor that they could even have live entertainment. Serpentor rubs his hands together and asks if the project will really cost five billion dollars. Dr. Mindbender explains that the cost of the virus is actually quite low, but by setting the pledge goal at five billion, Cobra will make a nice profit, too. Serpentor approves the project and adds that all Cobra agents will assist them.

While adjusting a monitor Dial-Tone intercepts a portion of the Cobrathon in which the Baroness, wearing a very low cut, sleek and black evening dress, urges the viewers to continue to donate their money and adds that the entertainment is about to begin.

Flint, Low-Light and General Hawk watch in horror as Sci Fi and Lifeline are pushed into giant roulette wheels and are tossed around while the wheels are spinning.

But the broadcast ends abruptly and an extremely distressed General Hawk orders Dial-Tone to get the rogue station back on their screen.

Dial-Tone explains that they need a compatible decoder box in order to watch the randomly changing station, and Duke, who walks into the room with Cross Country, Mainframe and Beach Head, asks, “Like this one?” Mainframe explains that they were unable to smuggle out Lifeline and Sci Fi, but General Hawk explains that he knows.

Part One - Part Two - Part Three

Jan 25: G.I.Joe Examined on Podcasts
Jan 25: Buzz Dixon Interview
Jan 25: Paulsen Annie Nomination & Dini on Batman Comic
Jan 12: Sgt. Slaughter Signing in Atlanta
Jan 11: G.I.Joe to Return on G4
Dec 30: Paramount Movie Reviewer Plugs
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