Pacifists in G.I.Joe! What is happening to this outfit?
  -- Beach Head (after overhearing Lifeline refusing to help repair a helicopter)
Home Episode Summaries Season 1 Where the Reptiles Roam

"That Texas tease. Call me Mary Belle. Jezebel's more like it!"
- Lady Jaye (after Mary Belle offers Wild Bill a tour of the ranch)

Crawling across a cornfield, cutting through fence and climbing through a window Alpine, Bazooka, Breaker and Snake Eyes, who stays on the ground with Timber, infiltrate a Cobra communications center and steal the latest transactions made by Cobra's dummy corporations. Bazooka get his feet tangled in the rope used to scale the building and collapses to the ground. But as soon as Breaker and the others try to leave the room, three Cobra agents appear at the room's only exit.

Bazooka fires a shot that strikes the ceiling above the Cobras and cuts off their entry into the room with a wall of rubble. Alarms blare and the Joes follow Bazooka, who promises to make another door so that they can escape. A wall explodes and the Joes quickly rappel down the building, avoid shots from the Cobra guard tower and dash to the fence. Bazooka blows away a section in the fence and as the Joes continue to retreat, Breaker radios Flint for backup.

Flying a Dragonfly helicopter, Wild Bill fires at the Cobras in the cornfield and Airborne and Bazooka pick up Alpine, who sarcastically tells Bazooka, who asks if he's coming, that he'd rather stay and be buried in popcorn.

Slipping the disk into a drive a woman tells Breaker that Cobra has protected their info with the standard Cobra encryption and shouldn't be too tough to crack. Flint notices that the latest transaction includes the purchase of a dude ranch in west Texas and tells Lady Jaye to investigate the ranch by going undercover with Alpine, Bazooka and Wild Bill, who surprises everyone with his shouts of delight as he announces that west Texas is "home, sweet home."

Speeding along an empty stretch of the road, Wild Bill again yells a loud "ya-hooo" before Alpine asks him in a carsick voice to slow down or they will take off into the air. However, Wild Bill is too excited to be home and merely replies, "Can't you take a little wind in your hair?" Bazooka begins to point out the sights, like cows and oil wells. Lady Jaye corrects what Bazooka believes to be oil wells by explaining they are microwave antennas, which are part of a solar farm. She explains that the antennas receive microwaves from a space station in space and transmit the energy to power plants in cities.

Listening to Wild Bill's worries about the danger of the microwaves, Lady Jaye explains that as long as the satellite in space is controlled there is no harm, otherwise, the beams could fry a city.

Arriving at the El Loco Toro Dude Ranch, Wild Bill brings the car to a halt and creates dust cloud so large that the owners of the ranch, Ma and Pa Joad, cough. But their good cheer is not ruined as they introduce themselves and their daughter Mary Belle. Wild Bill introduces himself as Bill Austin, Lady Jaye as Jane Austin, Alpine as Big Bob and Bazooka as Little Bob. As Mary Belle offers in a teasing voice to give Wild Bill a private tour of the ranch, Lady Jaye watches the two walk away and mutters to herself: "That Texas tease. Call me Mary Belle. Jezebel's more like it."

After Lady Jaye orders Alpine and Bazooka to look around, she radios Flint with to a microphone built into a her belt buckle. Under a weather vane on a barn roof, however, a camera captures Lady Jaye's report, in which she explains that the ranch looks like and recreation base. Cobra Commander, who is watching the scene, orders Zartan and the Dreadnoks to keep Lady Jaye and her friends under constant surveillance and also tells them to not kill the Joes since he doesn't want to raise suspicions for 18 hours. Then, after he has control of the solar satellite, the Dreadnoks can do what they want with the Joes.

Alpine, Bazooka and Lady Jaye meet on the front porch of the main house and are told by Zartan and the Dreadnoks, who are dressed as ranchhands that they were to make sure that the Joes have a "real full day." Alpine and Bazooka are led to a corral by the Dreadnoks, who leave and promise to saddle some horses. Climbing onto the top beam of a fence, Alpine and Bazooka are knocked off by a bull, and Bazooka exclaims, "Holy cow!"

Part One - Part Two - Part Three

Jan 25: G.I.Joe Examined on Podcasts
Jan 25: Buzz Dixon Interview
Jan 25: Paulsen Annie Nomination & Dini on Batman Comic
Jan 12: Sgt. Slaughter Signing in Atlanta
Jan 11: G.I.Joe to Return on G4
Dec 30: Paramount Movie Reviewer Plugs
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