Well, Zandar, you failed so quickly?
  -- Zartan (after Zandar retreats from Joe headquarters)
Home Episode Summaries Season 1 The Wrong Stuff


"Who's Will?"
- Torch (after ordered by Zartan to "fire at will")

Zartan orders the Dreadnoks to prepare the heat-seeking missiles and Buzzer taps his heel on a button. On Zartan’s order to fire, Torch activates hits the button with his elbow and the rockets destroy the Skystrikers. As the Joes tumble together in space, Buzzer tells the “Joeys” to have a nice trip home. To Zartan’s dismay, the travel back to Earth by using their oxygen to propel them and release their parachutes when there is enough atmosphere.

The ever-skeptical Alpine tells the Joes, “Seeya wherever.” Ace tells his friends that whatever happens next, he was proud to serve with Lady Jaye and Alpine. But the Joes survive and of the miracles of miracles, they land back at Joe headquarters. Rolling up her parachute, Lady Jaye jokes, “And for our next trick.”

Duke tells the Joes that Cobra caught them off their guard, however, the next mission will have a squadron ready for space travel and Ace will lead the mission, find and train the crew so that they will have the right stuff to stop Cobra. Ace asks for volunteers and Shipwreck, Tripwire, Mutt, Wild Bill, Roadblock, Lady Jaye, Flint, Snake Eyes, Gung Ho and Scarlett - every member of the Joe team in the room - raises their hand.

The first test is pushups and Shipwreck, who is between Flint and Barbecue, quits after one hundred and four and asks why they have to do push ups. Ace explains that even with no resistance in space, stronger is stronger. Shipwreck sets one arm over the other, rests his head and tells Ace that he will settle for weaker.

The next test is in a zero gravity room where the stomach and mouth switch places and the brains turns to soggy cotton. After one hour passes, Ace leads the Joes to a G-force test room. Cover Girl, Gung Ho, Flint, Shipwreck, Duke and Mutt sit on a couch after experiencing ten times the Earth’s gravity and Ace tells them that they have been eliminated, but Duke raises a fist and tells Ace that he can still make “mincemeat” out of Ace in the boxing ring.

Ace leads the washed out Joes to a room and they watch as Scarlett, Alpine, Lady Jaye, Wild Bill, Roadblock and Bazooka bounce around in chairs to simulate the effect of re-entry. When the chairs stop bouncing, the Joes stand up. But Bazooka is eliminated when he falls to the ground.


As Cobra Commander informs the television audience that one of the most precious rights is free speech, Lady Jaye tells the Joes, “Now that takes gall!” Cobra Commander adds that the television station’s satellite was attacked by the Joes, however, they were repelled. Unfortunately, the price of vigilance is high and he asks the viewers to send large contributions to Cobra TV, which can be reached in care of Extensive Enterprises Box 22-22 Viper Beach, California 90287.

Turning off the television in disgust, Duke then tells Ace to prepare for launch, and as the rocket’s countdown begins, Senator Flim asks what happens if the Joes fail. “Then, Senator,” Duke says gravely, “we lose some fine soldiers and Cobra gets to poison the minds of everybody on Earth.” The rocket flies up and Duke cheers the Joes on. Senator Flim asks Duke if he thought the Joes wouldn’t make the lift off. “Riding a six story bullet into space is always dicey, Senator,” Duke replies.

The Joes fly toward the space station and the Dreadnoks, who are looking out of a window, state that the Joes are coming into the range of the station’s weapons. “Your Dreadnoks have a knack for stating the obvious,” Destro tells Zartan. “And you for showing up where you’re not wanted,” Zartan snaps back. With arms crossed across his chest, Destro calmly retorts, “You wanted my new weapon system badly enough, though, didn’t you?” Zartan orders the Dreadnoks to fire at will and Torch asks Buzzer, “Who is Will?”

Part One - Part Two - Part Three


Jan 25: G.I.Joe Examined on Podcasts
Jan 25: Buzz Dixon Interview
Jan 25: Paulsen Annie Nomination & Dini on Batman Comic
Jan 12: Sgt. Slaughter Signing in Atlanta
Jan 11: G.I.Joe to Return on G4
Dec 30: Paramount Movie Reviewer Plugs JoeGuide.com
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