Very iffy.
  -- Xamot (examining Shipwreck's health after an intense interrogation session)
Home Episode Summaries Season 2 Once Upon a Joe


"Good thing Shipwreck used it. Otherwise, we’d all be in real serious trouble."
- Lift-Ticket (after Shipwreck saves the Joes with the McGuffin Device)

The Big Ugly Giant and his gang attack The Duke, Leatherhead and Frog Face at their home in order to teach them that might makes right. Zartan then tells the disbelieving kids to not blame him. “Facts of life, kids,” he tells them.


However, Jenny doesn’t believe the storyteller is Shipwreck, so she walks away and tugs on Beach Head’s shirt while he is using Dial-Tone’s radio to request additional personnel and gear from Joe headquarters. However, she is told by Beach Head that Shipwreck is her babysitter and Jenny walks away.

Polly flies to Leatherneck and Wet-Suit and tells them that Shipwreck needs help, but Leatherneck angrily replies that Shipwreck can tell his own stories. Polly then finds Jenny sitting by herself on a crate, learns about Shipwreck and then follows Polly. She unties Shipwreck, who explains that Zartan attacked him and has the McGuffin Device.

As Zartan finishes his tale, Bobby complains that he doesn’t like the story. Shipwreck agrees with him and Zartan swiftly grabs Bobby in a headlock as Shipwreck walks toward him. As Bobby urges Shipwreck to attack since no one will miss him because he is an orphan, Zartan tells the kid to be silent. The mercenary then activates a device on his belt that signals a squad of Night Ravens, which are led by Dr. Mindbender, to drop bombs on the new orphanage.

Zartan tosses Bobby at Shipwreck and runs off to meet his plane. But Shipwreck catches the Bobby, hands him to Dial-Tone, who is standing next to him, and tells the Joe to escort the kids to cover since the sailor needs to do some serious head-racking.

A drone plane from a Night Raven lands and Zartan climbs aboard, but Shipwreck leaps inside the cockpit as well and steals his shirt, pants, the McGuffin Device and his hat before the drone plane takes off.

Dr. Mindbender orders the Cobra pilots to attack, but Shipwreck dives into a trench and activates the McGuffin Device. Suddenly, Shipshape and the various characters from his tale attack the Cobra planes.

Cobra is forced to retreat and after Shipshape hits Dr. Mindbender with a pie, Cobra’s chief science officer growls that he hates Shipwreck. The three fairies around Leatherneck disappear and the Big Bad Cobra, who is about to pulverize Beach Head with a mallet, vanishes.

Beach Head explains that the McGuffin Device projects the user’s most inner nature and has the ability to alter the fabric of reality. “Good thing Shipwreck used it. Otherwise, we’d all be in real serious trouble,” jokes Lift-Ticket.

Sitting under a star-filled sky and next to the new orphanage, Shipwreck continues his tale while Lifeline asks Beach Head, “Feels good, doesn’t it, to do something worthwhile?”

“Yeah,” Beach Head replies. “Captured a Swampfire, shot down a Night Raven, recovered the McGuffin Device-“
“I meant fixing the orphanage and making those kids happy,” replies Lifeline.

With Jenny on his knee, Shipwreck explains that Shipshape got the hamburgers from the hamburger mine, traveled all the way home and lived happily ever after. “Oh, wow! Don’t you wish ever story could end so happily?” asks Jenny. Closing his eyes and hugging Jenny, Shipwreck tells her, “I sure do, honey. I sure do.”

Part One - Part Two - Part Three


Jan 25: G.I.Joe Examined on Podcasts
Jan 25: Buzz Dixon Interview
Jan 25: Paulsen Annie Nomination & Dini on Batman Comic
Jan 12: Sgt. Slaughter Signing in Atlanta
Jan 11: G.I.Joe to Return on G4
Dec 30: Paramount Movie Reviewer Plugs JoeGuide.com
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