Fool! You are the stupidest male I have ever met!
  -- The Baroness (sharing her opinion of investigative reporter Hector Ramirez)
Home Episode Summaries Season 1 Excalibur

"This isn't my day."
- Quick Kick (on a castle wall after Storm Shadow breaks his leg for the second time in the same day)

In the devastated village, Duke orders Mutt to organize a clean-up detail while the other Joes will attempt to find their friends. Spirit sees only two guards at the castle and Quick Kick scales the walls in order to perform a little reconnaissance work, but Storm Shadow attacks him from above and Quick Kick falls to the ground and breaks his leg. Wondering what his hero, John Wayne, would do in his situation, he decides to call for the nearest American Indian with an owl call, which sounds like a wounded chicken to Spirit.

Spirit heals Quick Kick’s leg and explains that he has healing power and the cure is not a miracle as Quick Kick claims, however, Quick Kick still spins and jumps in the air and jokes that he is singing in the rain. And Spirit thinks to himself that next time he will fix the Joe’s brain. Spirit finds a secret entrance into the castle and the two enter the building. After Quick Kick knocks out a Crimson Guard, Footloose asks his friends what took them so long to rescue him. Quick Kick tosses a throwing star at the lock on Footloose’s door and the three Joes run for cover when more Crimson Guards arrive. They enter a room and slam a steel door behind them, then Spirit opens the door so that Quick Kick can throw another throwing star that contains sleeping gas at the Cobra agents.

Quick Kick rips a drape off a wall and tells his friends that he needs something to cut the cloth. Spirit slips a knife from under his headband and hands it to Quick Kick, who asks his teammate if he has a Mauler under his belt. While marching in the moors, Flint tells Duke that they are lost and only a sign from above will save them. Then, Duke points into they sky and points out the words “Yo Joe.”

More Crimson Guards enter the room and shoot the spotlight used to cast the sign into the sky, but Quick Kick throws a shrunkien at the Cobras and then jumps up and stomps on them. The Joes then make a break for the drawbridge and Quick Kick elects to stay behind so that he can use his last throwing star to delay Cobra. Footloose and Spirit punch out two guards and shoot a link in the chain holding the drawbridge up.

Outside the castle, Flint wishes for the drawbridge to be let down, and as it drops to the ground, he turns to Duke and asks what he should ask for next. Cobra fires at Sprit and Footloose, who are sprinting from the castle, and Duke suggests to Flint a bulletproof hide. Behind some cover, Duke asks Spirit about Quick Kick’s whereabouts and Spirit points to the castle and they see Quick Kick struggling with Storm Shadow for possession of Excalibur at the top of the wall. Spirit calls Freedom to give Quick Kick some help and the eagle swoops down, grabs the sword and flies to the lake where Storm Shadow found the sword.

A hand rises out of the water and Freedom drops the sword, which is caught and pulled under the water. While Flint wishes for the weather to clear, the sun then begins to shine and Lady Jaye and the other Joes arrive with WHALEs. As Cobra retreats, Destro complains that he almost owned Excalibur and the Baroness places her hands on Destro’s shoulders as he continues to sneeze violently.

Helicopters transport supplies to the village and while the Joes help restore the area, Duke tells Lady Jaye that the Joes have not only lost the radar equipment but they are also responsible for the devastation of the village. But Mr. Beemish surprises the Joes as he enters the room and explains to Duke that the town and the radar system can be rebuilt but what is truly important is that the Joes “got rid of the nasties” in the nearby castle.

The little girl who tugged Duke’s raincoat earlier enters the room and Junkyard walks over to her and lets the cat from his back leap onto his head and into her arms. “Queen Anne!” she happily shouts at her cat, who is nestled in her arms as she hugs the cat. Delighted that Duke kept his promise to find the cat, Duke leans close to the smiling girl and tells Mr. Beemish, “Maybe we did a great deal here after all.”

Part One - Part Two - Part Three

Jan 25: G.I.Joe Examined on Podcasts
Jan 25: Buzz Dixon Interview
Jan 25: Paulsen Annie Nomination & Dini on Batman Comic
Jan 12: Sgt. Slaughter Signing in Atlanta
Jan 11: G.I.Joe to Return on G4
Dec 30: Paramount Movie Reviewer Plugs
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