R-i-i-i-ght. And I’m Dr. Footloose and that’s Dusty up there. He’s just an intern.
  -- Footloose (to Dr. Winters, who wishes to be called "Doctor Winters")
Home Episode Summaries Season 2 The Most Dangerous Thing in the World

"As for Shipwreck, well, what can I say? He has neither the desire nor the ability."
- General Hawk (talking about Shipwreck as a leader)

Beach Head orders the Joes to retreat to the main building and some of the Joes fire back at the Cobra land-subs, however, Cobra forces the Joes to duck for cover and retreat, and Serpentor laughs at the sight of the battle.

As a battering ram pounds against the main entrance at G.I.Joe headquarters, Shipwreck, Dial-Tone and Lifeline add another box to a pile of materials in order to reinforce the door. After Lifeline wonders if it is too late to negotiate, Shipwreck explains that Cobra only understands firepower. The sailor then dashes off and enters a control room and Beach Head hears the particle beam gun being activated on top of the base.

Wet-Suit: “Who could be that stupid?”
Leatherneck: “Well, you’re here so that leaves - “
Wet-Suit, Beach Head and Leatherneck (together): “Shipwreck!”
The three Joes enter the control room and Beach Head yells for Shipwreck to not fire the gun. But Shipwreck, who sees Serpentor and Dr. Mindbender on his monitor, fires the gun anyway. A particle beam streaks out of the gun and goes over the heads of the Cobra agents. “What the bloody blue blazes was that?” asks Dr. Mindbender in a scream. “Who cares?” asks Serpentor before ordering the Cobra forces to attack.

After the particle gun crashes through the roof of the Joes’ base and two levels, Shipwreck pleads for someone to help him climb out of some wreckage. Beach Head explains that the particle beam gun was not designed for nearby targets and Shipwreck asks how was supposed to know. “You’re an officer now, Shipwreck,” replies Wet-Suit. “You’re supposed to know these things.”

Cobra breaks through the main door and Leatherneck, Wet-Suit and Beach Head abandon Shipwreck and join their teammates in a battle against the Motor-Vipers, who storm into Joe headquarters on foot.

Suddenly, a NATO jet enters the airspace of the Joes’ base and General Hawk parachutes to the ground. The Joes happily shout his name, but General Hawk immediately issues orders. He orders a squad to follow him down an airshaft and when he is inside the base, he tells Beach Head to take some men, repel down the side of the headquarters and steal a Cobra Stun.

When Lifeline and Dial-Tone meet General Hawk, they are surprised to see him. After explaining that Beach Head contacted him, the Joes’ leader then leads the Joes to the level above the Motor-Vipers and orders Low-Light and Sci Fi to burn a hole in the ground. Once the hole is created, General Hawk jumps down and attacks the Motor-Vipers. The squad meets up with Roadblock’s group and quickly surround and capture the Cobra agents.

Outside, Beach Head spots a Cobra Stun and remarks, “Just what the General ordered.” Along with Wet-Suit and Leatherneck, Beach Head climbs into a Stun and attacks the Vipers, and the Joes begin to turn the tide. As General Hawk’s group arrives, Serpentor orders the subs' cannons to be fired at the Joes, but General Hawk tells his teammates to stick close to the treads since the tanks cannot depress their cannons far enough, and he then tosses a batch of explosives under a tank.

Explosions rip away the treads and wheels on the sub, and Serpentor is shocked by the turn of events. Dr. Mindbender suggests to Serpentor that he “retreat in hast and doubt at leisure.”

Dial-Tone asks General Hawk if they should pursue the retreating Cobra forces, but the Joes’ leader replies that they have don’t have any vehicles because their reserves were exhausted. “Oh, uh, yeah. Right,” Dial-Tone replies embarrassed.

Sitting on top of a pile of rubble and sipping a drink, General Hawk explains that he knew Cobra was behind the promotion orders since all promotions come through his office. General Hawk then adds that Cobra achieved complete confusion because they profiled the three Joes perfectly. For example, he states that Lifeline has the ability to be an officer but not the desire while Dial-Tone has the desire but not the ability. Lifeline agrees that he would rather help people than be responsible and Dial-Tone, who becomes glum, is told by General Hawk that not everyone is cut out to be a leader so he should cheer up. “As for Shipwreck,” General Hawk continues, “Well, what can I say? He has neither the desire nor the ability.”

Shipwreck begins to complain about being stuck under the rubble and Leatherneck asks Wet-Suit if they should dig him out. “Why sure...after our coffee break,” replies Wet-Suit. And the two Joes ditch their tools and walk away whistling. Shipwreck continues to plead with them to dig him out and then yells, “That’s an order!”

Part One - Part Two - Part Three

Jan 25: G.I.Joe Examined on Podcasts
Jan 25: Buzz Dixon Interview
Jan 25: Paulsen Annie Nomination & Dini on Batman Comic
Jan 12: Sgt. Slaughter Signing in Atlanta
Jan 11: G.I.Joe to Return on G4
Dec 30: Paramount Movie Reviewer Plugs JoeGuide.com

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