R-i-i-i-ght. And I’m Dr. Footloose and that’s Dusty up there. He’s just an intern.
  -- Footloose (to Dr. Winters, who wishes to be called "Doctor Winters")
Home Episode Summaries Season 1 The Germ

"Emmie, I told you never to make that surprise stew again!"
- a farmer (to his wife while running away from a giant germ)

While reading a magazine in a hospital room, Agent X-99 is contacted by the Crimsom Guard Commanders, Tomax and Xamot, and ordered to steal Bacteria X. Turning off his wrist watch-sized monitor, the man in the white lab coat opens a closet and pulls out his Crimsom Guard uniform and is soon in a lab grabbing a vial labeled Bacteria X. A doctor enters the room and demands to know what the intruder is doing inside his lab, but as the Crimsom Guard turns around, the doctor sees the Cobra emblem on the agent’s shirt and realizes in a terrified voice that the intruder is with Cobra. Yelling at the Crimsom Guard that he doesn’t know what he is stealing, the Crimsom Guard replies that the doctor has no idea how dangerous the bacteria will be once Cobra is through modifying it.

As a Cobra Hydrofoil cruises along the river waters to a Cobra base, where two Cobra agents mutter to one another that the Crimson Guards are not so elite, Agent X-99 enters Destro’s laborotory and delivers the vial. After accepting the vial, he dismisses the Crimsom Guard and begins to tell himself that the bacteria will be a conqueror of worlds. Turning back around, Destro sees the Crimsom Guard and tells him that he has been dismissd, but the Cobra agent replies that he has his orders from the Crimsom Guard Commanders, who have no authority over Destro, and from Cobra Commander, who has given the Crimsom Guard all the documentation he needed - and in triplicate.

Destro pounds the workbench with his fists and vials are turned over. Agent X-99 reports to the Tomax and Xamot that Destro has left the room in anger and asks what he should do. Tomax and Xamot tell the Crimsom Guard retrieve the vial with Bacteria X and return to Extensive Enterprises Labs, which can perform the same tests at half the cost. Grabbing the vial of bacteria, the Crimsom Guard spots another vial labelled “Experimental Growth Seurem” and picks it up as well. However, a Tele-Viper in the security room for the base catches the theft on film and orders the base’s troops to capture the Crimsom Guard.

Latching himself to a hang glider, the Crimsom Guard tells two Cobra agents to not impede him, but they fire their guns and he crashes through the window and escapes. However, as he glides to the hydrofoil, gun turrets open fre on him, so the “Cobra Elite” (as he refers to himself) orders the gunner on the hydrofoil to fire at the other Cobra agents. A Trubble Bubble is destroyed but an opposing agent leaps onto the hang glider and rips the Crimsom Guards shirt, causing the vials to crash to the ground.

The vials break and when the experimental growth seurem combines with Bacteria X a very large blob mindless moves down the rocky hill toward the Cobra base after absorbing a worm and changing from a glowing white to throbbing deep purple color. The two Cobra agents who belittled the Crimson Guard don Eel diving suits and jump into the water. After the Cobra base is absorbed, Bacteria X then moves toward the river and the Cobra agents.

Colonel Sharpe contacts the Joes and Breaker, Scarlett, Snake Eyes, Shipwreck, Dusty and Ace learn that a blob is moving “down state” and absorbing everything in its path. They shout their unit’s battlecry - “Yo Joe!” -  and rush out of the room to confront the blob with Skystrikers. Firing missiles at the blob, Ace and the others pass over the bacteria and watch nothing happen. Believing the missiles were duds, Ace leads the Joes toward the bacteria again, but the missiles are launched back at the Joes and one of the missiles strikes Ace’s plane. Badly damaged, Ace lands and asks a farmer if he could borrow his “old crop duster.”

The old man pulls a pipe from his mouth and tells Ace: “So long as you don’t bring it back lookin’ like yours.” The remaining Joes in the air use the exhaust from their engines to tell the residents to evacuate thier homes, and the old farmer comments that it must be “another one of those land schemes.”

As Bacteria X absorbs a house, a farmer, his wife and the family dog run from the house, and he tells his wife: “Emmie, I told you never to make that surprise stew again!”

Ace pours insecticide on the bacteria, but the chemicals are not absorbed so they are puffed back out toward Ace, forcing him to crash through several hay stacks and land. Scarlett, Snake Eyes and Dusty land and rush forward to help Ace, but before Scarlett rushes into the cloud of insecticide, Snake Eyes holds her back while Dusty explains that she would be overwhelmed as well.

Ace passes out just as he sees Airtight and awakens and listens to Airtight remind him that all dangerous substances should be handled by experts in the future. As Airtight explains that what Ace refers to as a blob is a actually a bacterium, Flint arrives and explias that he traced the trail back to recently destroyed Cobra base.
Ace: “It trashed a Cobra base? Maybe it’s not such a bad germ after all.”
Scarlett: “Yeah, it might just deserve a medal.”
Dusty: “Where would you pin it?”

Aboard the USS Flagg, as Roadblock is told by Ace that Airtight will fly into the germ using the world’s largest hyperdermic, Airtight explains to Snake Eyes to set the explosives for the widest possible range so the anti-biotics are effectively dispersed. Flint wishes Airtight good luck and tells him to stay in constant radio contact, but Airtight replies that he can either carry out his mission or listen to Ace but it would be impossible to do both. Flint laughs and tells Ace to keep the chatter to a minimum.

Part One - Part Two - Part Three

Jan 25: G.I.Joe Examined on Podcasts
Jan 25: Buzz Dixon Interview
Jan 25: Paulsen Annie Nomination & Dini on Batman Comic
Jan 12: Sgt. Slaughter Signing in Atlanta
Jan 11: G.I.Joe to Return on G4
Dec 30: Paramount Movie Reviewer Plugs JoeGuide.com

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