|Home Episode Summaries Season 1 Lights! Camera! Cobra!
"It takes a strong stomach to watch me eat."
- Cobra Commander (to Destro, who interrupts Cobra Commander's meal)
As villagers are led away from their homes, Cobra Commander tells his
troops to eliminate them, however, the G.I.Joe team arrives via helicopters
and attacks Cobra. Duke leads Snake Eyes, Gung Ho and other generic Joes
and then turn to Cobra Commander and chases him. But as Duke tackles Cobra
Commander, they smash through a paper brick wall.
Tearing off this helmet, the actor portraying Cobra Commander curses
the actor playing Duke and threatens to sue for the injury to his back.
As the actors walk by the director, George Landsburg, and his producer,
Marty Goldblatt, the director exclaims that the everything is wrong, that
the movie lacks authenticity, and demands real G.I.Joe technical advisors
- and money doesn’t concern him.
Inside a temple filled with Cobra deco, Destro enters Cobra Commander’s
chambers as Cobra’s leader is finishing a meal and informs him that he
has located the Firebat. Suddenly, Destro turns to the side and demands
that Cobra Commander put his hood on. Cobra laughs in a raspy chuckle and
tells Cobra’s arms dealer, “It takes a strong stomach to watch me eat.”
Destro recounts the tale of Cobra Commander’s elite troops failing to deliver
the plane and recommends destroying the Firebat, which is located at Miracle
Studios and contains a homing device that could lead the Joes back to Cobra’s
base. Cobra Commander ignores Destro’s advice and decides to contact Zartan
and his Dreadnoks so that they can steal it back at a price cheaper than
buying a new 15 million dollar plane from Destro.
A wall explodes at a London bank and the Zartan and his crew proceed
to rob 1 million in gold from the bank after Buzzer cuts open the safe
with his chainsaw, however, Cobra Commander contacts Zartan and offers
4 million. Zartan whistles and tells Buzzer, Ripper and Torch to drop the
loot. “Drop it?” they question in unison. Zartan explains that they have
just received an offer to make a movie.
At an airport near Hollywood, Mutt, Junkyard, Blowtorch, Dusty, Recondo,
Cover Girl and Shipwreck are met by Marty Goldblatt, who is told by a female
flight attendant that he is not a moment too soon in picking them up since
the sailor (Shipwreck) is driving her crazy.
The Joes are escorted to a desert location and Shipwreck grumbles when
he is told that he cannot visit the town first and then work. Cobra Stingers,
G.I.Joe Silver Mirages, MOBATs and Vamp Mark IIs have been loaned from
the US government to the studio in order for George Landsburg to achieve
his goal for the film - total authenticity. Shipwreck throws his arm around
the director and tells him that perfection cannot be achieved without official
G.I.Joe smoke-shifters. The director orders his producer to give Shipwreck
a car and money, and as the sailor drives off, Cover Girl follows on a
Silver Mirage in order to “keep him out of trouble.”
Zartan tells Torch to follow the Joes who have left for the town while
he and the other Dreadnoks will destroy the set. Approaching Recondo and
Dusty, Zartan pretends he is an actor pretending to be Zartan and tells
the Joes that Cobra’s equipment in superior when compared to the Joes’.
Unwilling to tolerate the insults, Zartan’s midnight race in the desert
is accepted by Dusty and Recondo, who race against the Cobra Python Cycle
with a Silver Mirage. However, Buzzer and Ripper shoot at the Joes and
cause them to crash into a ravine, and Recondo falls unconscious just as
he realizes that he was racing the real Zartan.
Meanwhile, as Cover Girl is driving through town shouting Shipwreck’s
name, she stops outside a bar when someone is thrown through the window
and a voice asks, “Who’re you callin’ a cheat?” Cover Girl runs inside
and tells Shipwreck that he would pick the sleaziest hole in town. “Oh,
shut up and fight!” Shipwreck says. Torch sneaks into the pool hall and
calls the police to report a riot but is interrupted as a large biker picks
him up by his jacket.
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