I don’t think they’ll let you in, Leatherneck. They have an IQ minimum at the door.
  -- Wet-Suit (joking with Leatherneck about the newest club in town)
Home Episode Summaries Season 1 Primordial Plot

"All right, you overgrown iguanas - let’s move it!"
- a Crimson Guard (yelling at the dinosaurs while herding them into a room for brainwashing)

Smoke fills the cockpit of Flint’s Skystriker and he crashes into a swamp. Scarlett and Gung Ho run to help their teammate. Flint shoots the canopy of his plane and dives into the waters of the swamp before the Skystriker explodes. Scarlett and Gung Ho arrive and watch the plane explode. Gung Ho tells Scarlett that he thought Flint was going to escape and asks what they should do next. With a great sadness in her voice, she tells Gung Ho, “We carry on.” They turn to walk away, but a loud gasping noise is heard behind them. They turn around and watch Flint climb out of the water and ask, “Does anyone have an aspirin?”

The Joes immediately run for cover as three Crimson Guards on Cobra Ferrets arrive. Deciding that no one could have survived the plane crash, the Cobra agents leave and Flint, Scarlett and Gung Ho come to the realization that since they do not have a radio to call an airstrike and rescue party, they will have to attack Cobra's fortress by themselves.

Much to his own surprise, Dr. Massey successfully creates three dinosaurs. Meanwhile, the Joes continue to march through the island's jungle and Flint and Scarlett listen to Gung Ho complain about not being able to satisfy some of his primal urges, such as food and sleep. However, Scarlett tries to lighten the mood by joking that the place should remind Gung Ho of home. "It does," replies Gung Ho. "Now you know why I left."

The dinosaurs are placed in a tank of water and after Cobra Commander orders the tank to be drained, he allows Destro his “brief moment of glory” by letting him activate a machine to brainwash the dinosaurs. Flint and the other Joes march through a jungle and they find the Cobra base while Gung Ho’s stomach growls loudly. “If that isn’t the luck of the Irish,” states Scarlett. As Flint states that he is not Irish, growls from the base are heard by the Joes. “Let’s just pretend it’s the wind,” Scarlett half-wishes.

As Cobra Commander watches several Crimson Guards use guns that shoot electricity in order to direct the dinosaurs to the brainwashing pit, he hears them shout, “All right, you overgrown iguanas - let’s move it!” Cobra Commander turns to the Crimson Guard Commanders and tells them, “Your Crimson Guards are either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid.” But the twins explain to Cobra Commander that their guards are neither, but, rather, they simply have an unusual idea of how to have a good time.

Once the minds of the creatures have been quieted by Destro’s brainwashing machine, Destro informs Cobra Commander that the he can now use the cybernetic control disk to order the dinosaurs. Placing the disk near his head, Cobra Commander tells the reptiles to stifle themselves. The Crimson Guards lower their guns and are surprised to see the dinosaurs become dead silent.

As the Joes approach the base, Flint hopes that Dr. Massey isn’t the dinosaurs’ first dinner. But after Scarlett points out that the doctor would only be an appetizer, Gung Ho grabs his stomach and asks the others to please stop talking about food. The Joes trip a light sensor and Destro tells Cobra Commander that the Joes have survived. To the dismay of Dr. Massey, who tells Cobra Commander that he must feed the dinosaurs, Cobra Commander orders the reptiles to be released and tells Dr. Massey: “Feed them? That’s exactly what I plan to do!” And Cobra Commander laughs in his insane, raspy voice.

The Joes watch the doors at the bottom of the Cobra base swing open and they retreat as the dinosaurs walk out. Flint takes a shot at one of the dinosaurs, but after his laser shots bounce off the creature, Flint and Scarlett dive for cover as a tree is smashed down by an angry dinosaur. Gung Ho tells the Joes that he will wrestle one of the smaller ones, which looks like an alligator, but the Joe who wrestled gators in his youth asks his teammates upon seeing the huge dinosaur, “Would you believe chameleons?”

A camera rises from the ground and Cobra Commander recognizes Gung Ho and then orders the dinosaurs to devour him. Gung Ho rejoins his teammates and Scarlett tells Flint, “I thought dinosaurs were supposed to be stupid.” Flint replies, “They just don’t make them like they used to.” Scarlett spots the camera and after Gung Ho picks the camera off with a shot from his gun, Cobra Commander then tells the others that he will have to rely on the dinosaurs’ instincts for food to destroy the Joes.

Part One - Part Two - Part Three

Jan 25: G.I.Joe Examined on Podcasts
Jan 25: Buzz Dixon Interview
Jan 25: Paulsen Annie Nomination & Dini on Batman Comic
Jan 12: Sgt. Slaughter Signing in Atlanta
Jan 11: G.I.Joe to Return on G4
Dec 30: Paramount Movie Reviewer Plugs JoeGuide.com

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