I may be hard up - but I'm no traitor!
  -- Dusty (before shoving a table toward Tomax and Xamot while inside a bar)
Home Episode Summaries Season 2 Grey Hairs and Growing Pains


"Once a Joe, always a Joe."
- Sparks (to Flint and Lady Jaye, who thank him for his help)


On top of a cliff, a woman screams at the top of the lungs to see Madame Versaille. One of the spa staff members then asks for the visitor, Jezebel, to follow her into the offices. And as they walk inside, Flint, who is sweeping near the pool, stops, pushes back a section of the broom's handle and reports through a hidden microphone that Jezebel has entered the building.

Jezebel is escorted into Madame Versaille’s office and they trade insults before a lawyer tries to defuse the situation by reminding them that both had agreed to look the other’s youth treatment formulas. Madame Versaille, who claims her formula has been in her family’s keep for generations, hands a scroll to Jezebel in exchange for an envelope. Madame Versaille opens the envelope and sees the Cobra logo.

Zarana rips off her Jezebel disguise and turns to face Flint as he bursts through the door and cautions Zarana that she may have to eat her own threats. “Eat this!” she yells while shooting her gun at Flint. Madame Versaille leaps across the desk, however, Zarana swats her aside, crashes through a window and lands on a table cloth held by Buzzer and Torch.

Zarana orders the Dreadnoks to take care of the Joes while she escapes. Low-Light and Beach Head burst out of the shrubbery and chase Zarana, and before Buzzer and Ripper can attack the two Joes, Dial-Tone pushes the two Dreadnoks into a pool with a blast of water from a fire house. Unfortunately, Zarana is able to escape thanks to a Night Raven’s drone, which she lands in after leaping off a cliff.

Inside the offices of ABN TV, Flint thanks Sparks for taking the time to see Lady Jaye and himself. “Once a Joe, always a Joe,” he replies. After Lady Jaye explains that the Joes are trying to find a connection to Madame Versaille’s youth formula and Cobra, Sparks explains that he may have an answer for them. He slips a tape into a VCR and plays a commercial for the Ageless Care Spa that features Donna Dasher, a very popular actress, and Brett Tinker, a football player recently voted the NFL’s most valuable player. Sparks explains that the stars endorsed the Ageless Care Spa for free and the spa is a subsidiary of Extensive Enterprises, which is Cobra’s company according to Flint.

Unsure of Cobra’s motives, Flint waits on a small dock for the other members of their team to join them and confesses to Lady Jaye that investigative work is a bit out of Joes’ league. After Lady Jaye explains that the Joes could use a change of pace, Dial-Tone races in front of a ship on a Devilfish and the sailors aboard curse his amateurish stunts. Sci Fi flies low to the ground on a Falcon glider and causes Flint and Lady Jaye to duck as he lands. Flint tells Lady Jaye, “I hope they can get-“

But he is interrupted as Mainframe joins the group by riding a LCV, and one of the nearby musicians tells his friend, “Man, look at that crazy motorbike.” Flint continues to tell Lady Jaye, “I hope they can get here without-“


But he is interrupted again as Beach Head drops a rope from a Tomahawk and climbs down. “You hope they can get here without what, Flint?” asks Lady Jaye. While grinding his teeth, Flint tells her, “Without being too conspicuous.” And Lady Jaye laughs.

Inside the Long Beach Naval base, Beach Head stands up while the Ageless Care Spa commercial is playing on a screen and questions why the Joes were assigned to the mission. After Flint explains the connection between Extensive Enterprises and Cobra, Beach Head suggests that they launch an assault on the spa. However, Flint tersely reminds Beach Head that he is not in charge of the mission. “Thank goodness,” Mainframe quips. “I heard that!” Beach Head half-yells. Flint orders Beach Head to sit down and explains that Gung Ho and Lady Jaye will watch the spa, while Mainframe and Dial-Tone visit Brett Tinker and Flint and Sci Fi talk with Donna Dasher. “Yeah, I can dig that,” Sci Fi tells his teammates.

However, Donna Dasher refuses to divulge why she endorsed the spa for free when Flint and Sci Fi talk to her on a movie set. Dasher then leaves the Joes, who elect to stay on the set and try again, and walks to a group of elephants, grabs the trainer’s whistle and blows into it.

The elephants then run wild through the set and rush forward to stomp the Joes, however, Flint and Sci Fi climb up a large prop and avoid being crushed. But the elephants damage the side of the prop and the Joes fall to the ground.

Fortunately, there is a truck filled with hay that softens the Joes’ fall. Spotting flash grenades, Flint yells. "These’ll brighten up their day!” The elephants continue their rampage across various sets and the Joes pursue them in a jeep.

And thanks to Sci Fi’s skillful driving and Flint’s well-aimed flash grenades, the elephants are directed away from a commissary and into set number nine, where an Old West film is interrupted.


After the Joes shut the doors of the set to trap the elephants, they congratulate each other and watch with disdain as Donna Dasher speeds off the set in her sports car.

Part One - Part Two - Part Three


Jan 25: G.I.Joe Examined on Podcasts
Jan 25: Buzz Dixon Interview
Jan 25: Paulsen Annie Nomination & Dini on Batman Comic
Jan 12: Sgt. Slaughter Signing in Atlanta
Jan 11: G.I.Joe to Return on G4
Dec 30: Paramount Movie Reviewer Plugs JoeGuide.com
MORE

JoeGuide.com (formerly QKTheatre.com) is an unofficial G.I.Joe website. G.I.Joe and all related characters and vehicles are trademarks of Hasbro. All images, sound and movie clips of G.I.Joe within this site are used with the kind permission of Hasbro. All other images are copyrighted by their respective owners and are presented for only for the purpose of review.