That Texas tease. 'Call me Mary Belle.' Jezebel's more like it!
  -- Lady Jaye (after Mary Belle offers Wild Bill a tour of the ranch)
Home Episode Summaries Season 2 Arise, Serpentor, Arise!: Part I


"Better. Not perfect, but better."
- Sgt. Slaughter (while watching the Joes run uphill in the rain)

While a Tomahawk chases the retreating Cobra forces, Sgt. Slaughter destroys the last of the BATs and Flint tells the impressed Joes that they are looking at a real soldier. Sgt. Slaughter apologizes to General Hawk about dropping in and jokes that the Joes’ party was getting out of hand. Angry and tired, General Hawk tells him that Joes deserved to lose.

Inside a Cobra Terrordrome, Cobra Commander tells Destro, Tomax and Xamot that the BATS, which were nothing more than high-tech designer toys in his opinion, were the cause of Cobra’s failure in battle. But Dr. Mindbender yells at Cobra Commander that the BATs worked perfectly and the Joes would have been defeated if Cobra Commander had deployed them correctly. However, Cobra Commander tells Dr. Mindbender that there is nothing in the good doctor’s file that indicates he knows anything about military strategy but, rather, he has enough credentials to be only the chief science officer and interrogator in the organization.

Cobra Commander leaves with Scrap Iron and several Crimson Guards, and Dr. Mindbender tells Destro, Tomax and Xamot that he has experienced a strange reoccurring dream, one that has convinced him that the time for a new leader is now!

Sgt. Slaughter tells General Hawk that he was happy to help and adds that he needs to return to train his latest batch of problematic recruits. General Hawk beseeches Slaughter to stay and whip the Joes into shape, and after thinking about the proposition for a few moments, he tells Hawk that Slaughter House training begins at 0600 hours - ready or not.

Surrounded by various arcane books and scrolls, Dr. Mindbender twists and turns in his serpentine bed and mumbles in his sleep. In a dream, numbers, square roots signs and absolute value graphs float in the air as he flies to the ground and lands in front of a spiral of glowing beads.

A large stone creature in the shape of Cobra Commander shoots lightning at him for lying about his loyalty, and as Cobra Commander attempts to step on him, he grabs a test tube filled with a liquid and tosses it at his leader.

The statue crumbles and as Dr. Mindbender looks at the spiral of light, he is caught up inside of it, hears a heartbeat and realizes that if he can not find a new leader, then he will make one.

The alarm at Joe headquarters goes off and the Joes rush out of bed and find Sgt. Slaughter standing on top of his Tripe T Tank welcoming them to their first day of training. “Give your hearts to America, Joes, because your butts belong to me!” he yells.

After he orders them to commence running, General Hawk tells Sgt. Slaughter that he is happy to see the Joes are getting the training they need to become the best again. Slaughter tells Hawk that he is happy to receive his approval, and then points to Hawk and tells him that he is a Joe, too, and orders him to join his teammates.

While training inside an exercise room, Slaughter taunts the Joes by telling them that he has an arthritic grandmother who can beat all of them. Wet-Suit tells Slaughter that “talk is cheap” and asks him to prove his strength. Inviting all of the Joes to tackle him at once, Slaughter is besieged, but he knocks all of them back and asks, “Did I make my point?”

Wearing all of their gear, the Joes run through the rain and up a hill. As Roadblock leads the Joes in a running cadence, Slaughter looks at them while on top of a hill and notes, “Better. Not perfect, but better.”

Around a conference room table, Dr. Mindbender tells Destro, Tomax, Xamot and two Cobra Officers that Cobra Commander must never find out about their meeting since it could determine the fate of their “great movement.” However, a robotic fly lands on the ceiling and transmits a video feed to Cobra Commander, who congratulates Scrap Iron on his ‘bug.’

Dr. Mindbender explains that he will take DNA (deoxyribonucleic acid) from the tombs of history’s most infamous conquers, like Ghengis Khan, Napolean, Ivan the Terrible and Alexander the Great, and combine their molecules to form the perfect leader: the Cobra Emperor.

Cobra Commander smashes the monitor with his fist and screams, “Never!” The door to the conference room is blown away and Cobra Commander accuses the people inside the room of high treason. While the Crimson Guards surround Dr. Mindbender and his cohorts, Cobra Commander watches as his guardsmen turn their guns on him as he claims that they are loyal to him. Cobra Commander laughs nervously then explains that they should not squabble among themselves since they have G.I.Joe as a common enemy. Cobra Commander then orders them to build the new Cobra leader so that he, too, can follow him to victory, and then asks them to get someone to fix the door as he leaves.

Part One - Part Two - Part Three


Jan 25: G.I.Joe Examined on Podcasts
Jan 25: Buzz Dixon Interview
Jan 25: Paulsen Annie Nomination & Dini on Batman Comic
Jan 12: Sgt. Slaughter Signing in Atlanta
Jan 11: G.I.Joe to Return on G4
Dec 30: Paramount Movie Reviewer Plugs JoeGuide.com
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